There ain't no sAANity clause

There's just time for an extremely tenuous Christmas special (no there isn't. Ed) so here goes.

Homeless people are often hungry at this time of year, but should they take leftovers from Chris Mould? Perhaps.

It's not every day our home town plays host to a name suggesting appropriate amusement, so we give thanks for fire-doubter Ian Doubtfire.

William Martin LaFever gives himself same.

Hot on the heels of other reporters with amusingly appropriate names come Andrew Seaman — those Frenchmen should, er, pull the finger out — and Steve Rosenberg reporting on a case of double agency.

On a similar note, China's Sin Chew Daily reports on some sinful chewing.

We also salute Scott Wiener's support for nakedly appropriate amusement. On the subject of local government, I was recently in touch with Gordon Bennett, Glasgow City Council's community inspector for Maryhill. It can often be hard to tell whether he's submitting a report or merely adding his signature.

You might also remember recruitment consultant Yvonne Filler from a previous entry. LinkedIn now informs me she has retrained as a sex therapist, so hers is the AAN that keeps on giving.

Finally, I've no idea whether this guy's name is appropriate, but it is amusing and I promised my dad I'd add it.

That's all for now, but from now on why not keep up to date with hilarious AANs on Twitter!

The Names of the XXX Olympiad

Hello again folks, and welcome to your annual-ish festival of nosebleeding nomenclature. You might have noticed the Olympics were on recently. We did anyway, so kept our accipitrine eyes open for any amusingly and/or appropriately named Olympians. Here are the few who caught our attention...

Bouncing Chinaman Dong Dong makes that very sound; badminton player Chris Adcock, diver Peter Waterfield and hurdler Vania Stambolova do what they say on the tin; while Stephan Feck had cause to take his own name in vain.

Away from the Olympics now, and here are a few that readers have spotted since our last post on the blogle:

dedicated follower Clare West pointed out Pat, a women having Avery bad day at the aviary;

newer recruit John Tweedie raised the case of mountaineer Peter Cliff;

public speaker Neil Turner noticed a Bishop who can, quite literally, claim "Dogma's my middle name";

and Hertfordshire historian-hotelier Mark Freeman found Teresa Heritage in charge of that very portfolio in his own amusingly appropriate borough; not to mention — or, rather, to mention — a man from his own field: economist historian NJG Pounds. Does the NGJ perhaps stand for Now Letsjust Goandstudy? Perhaps you can do better with a suggestion of your own; perhaps not.

Finally, a few more your humble correspondents stumbled on of our own accord:

Ken Livingstone was asked to Philippa Need and duly obliged;

Neel Kashkari has been known to kari a lot of kash;

Lucas Papademos briefly served as father of the nation (highbrow one, that);

Tam Fry chipped in to the ongoing obesity debate;

Justine Greening is trying, and no doubt failing, to do something of the sort in her new job;

Likewise commuters' advocate Gene Russianoff;

Barclays bankster Rich Ricci is indeed;

While defender Mark De Man gets paid to do just that;

As does recruitment consultant Yvonne Filler. We can't find a link for her so you'll just have to bloody well take our word for it.

That's yer lot then.  Till next time, fAANs!

Amusingly appropriate annunciator

A co-conspirator spotted this in the House of Commons...



So that those on the ermine benches don't feel left out, why not watch Lord Crisp's contribution to the obesity debate?

There AAN't half been some clever bastards

Hello, and welcome to the new and debateably improved Amusingly Appropriate Names blog — where we find examples of those happy confluences between accidents of birth and accidents of, er, other stuff, so you can use your own time in a more productive fashion.

To wit: check out the patronyms on these poindexters (or should that be pundexters?)...

Graham McElearney advises on e-learning; Dr John Learned is indeed; as is historian Rob Tombs; and Dr James Orwell has invented a smarter, more... more... more Orwellian sort of CCTV.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the brainy scale, Raven Knickerbocker performed "a rogue act of insanity" at Mad River Community Hospital.

All very appropriate, all very amusing, no doubt.

Amusingly appraperiate allegation

Footballers accused of rape are a staple of modern British life, and today the AANs blog has cause to honour their contribution to appropriate amusement.

"Two Dundee United footballers have been questioned by police in connection with an alleged serious sexual assault.

BBC Scotland understands the players are David Goodwillie and David Robertson."

Thanks to regular contributor, curry fan and inciter of rail company executive immolation A. McNeill for spotting that one.

UPDATE: The charges have been dropped; his willie is indeed good.  See?  His N is AA-rated after all.

HeavAANs above

What ho.  Without further ado, here are some amusingly appropriate names your ever-watchful-for-amusingly-appropriate-names correspondents have uncovered of late...

Politics is back in the news, so we begin with Tory budget slasher Kay Cutts,

Not to mention her pie-eyed comrade Mark Reckless,

Expert in non-verbal communication, the late Prof. R.L. Birdwhistell,

BP VP Ken "how'd you plug these oil" Wells,

Judge Price recently had cause to ask: "how much?"

Nuclear engineer Sue Ion,

Hot on her heels, theoretical astrophysicist Alan Heavens,

And journalist and non-observer of embargoes Jonathan Leake (doubly appropriate that one, as the story was about menstruation).

While we're on the subject of journalists, Samira Shackle wrote about child detention.

And here's a quango that has met an amusingly appropriate end:

"Chief Coroner of England and Wales/Chief Coroner’s Office (1 body)
No longer a statutory body - Abolish body and function."

The Chief Coroner is now 1 dead body.  Speaking of which, if you thought Philip Pagano died an amusingly appropriate death, Jimi Heselden didn't do a bad job of leaving the world feet-first either.

Amusingly appropriate email address

Like many organisational folk these days, our honourable and not-so-honourable parliamentary representatives enjoy email addresses with the surname / first-letter-of-first-name@... format.  For instance, if you want to agree with Deputy PM Nick Clegg you can write to him at cleggn@parliament.uk, or if you're keen to offer your support to Labour leadership dark horse Diane Abbott you can reach her at abbottd@parliament.uk, and so on.

Our favourite?  Rightwing Eurosceptic Tory MP Mark Francois.  Yes, that's right: francoism@parliament.uk.  He failed to get the nod as Europe Minister the other day – supposedly to help along the coalition with the Lib Dems, but perhaps the real reason was to avoid upsetting his Spanish counterpart when he or she went to open his or her inbox of a morning.

Speaking of which, how's this for an amusingly - or perhaps terrifyingly - appropriate bit of signage?

Amusingly appropriate death

"The chief of the Chicago commuter rail system has killed himself by stepping in front of a speeding train, officials have said... In his pocket, police found a manual detailing procedures for handling a suicide on the railway."

Sir, we at the AANs blog salute you.  Who says Americans don't do irony, eh?

A rAANdom selection

Evening.  What with everything that's going on these days - recession, crooked politicians, Rwandan Tutsi soldiers forcing Congolese Hutu rebels to eat parts of their own bodies - it's nice to know you can always rely on some amusingly appropriate names to brighten up your day.  Sometimes, though, as they say in the Congo, 'things fall apart', and your faithful correspondents' thematic approach to aptonymic humour is no exception.  Accordingly, here are a few gems we've spotted recently, and indeed less recently, which defy easy pigeonholing...

Rem Koolhaas builds cool houses,

Michael Drinkwater is an expert on African agriculture (his advice to the Congolese rebels?  "Drink water to facilitate autocannibalism"),

Gale Dryland runs Stirling Council's environmental operations,

Her colleague John Risk heads the Emergency Management and Response Team (planning for contingencies like floods, fires, Rwandan-backed incursions, etc),

Another local government jobsworth, Nick Cross, was understandably so,

Annmarie Carey does some non-job for Marie Curie,

Here's to YOU Kirk McCambley,

Hong Kong billionaire Li Ka-Shing would be an appalling waxwork if he didn't make that very noise when counting his billions,

Though even he never Madoff with quite as much as Bernie,

Clevis Bozo - eyewateringly stupid name, eyewateringly stupid guy - works in the internal auditing department of the Venezuelan state oil company,

Linda Bacon makes excuses for people as revoltingly obese as herself (we can just imagine their dinner table conversations: "Where's L.?"  "In da bacon"),

And Goodluck Jonathan will need all the aforementioned he can get.

That's all for now, folks.

The father, the pun and the holy ghost

Ever since the days when our old school chaplain Mr Christie would drone on about his namesake, we at the AANs blog have taken a particular interest in amusingly and appropriately named figures from the world to come.  Here, then, are a few proofs that God has a sense of humour after all...

Cardinal Sin did what he said on the tin,

Likewise herbal healer Ah Nya Plant,

Mark Godshall if you're not careful,

Hakim Quick if you're particularly apostatic,

Then there's obscenely rich televangelist Creflo Dollar,

And spiritual scribbler Will Heaven,

But his colleague Roger Boyes wins the byline from hell.

May God have mercy on their silly souls.

Fun run

Afternoon all.  The World Cup, Olympics and Commonwealth Games are just round the corner, and no matter who you're supporting - whether it's England, for instance, or whoever's playing England - we're sure you'll enjoy our sporting selection of amusingly and appropriately named sportsmen, sportswomen and one sportsman/woman!  Thus:

Baseline botherer Anna Smashnova,

Fast fellow Usain Bolt,

His countrymen Daren Ganga and Floyd Reifer (thanks to Mr A. Lightbulb McNeill of Leith for spotting that one),

Even faster fellow Scott Speed,

Germany's car-racing bachelor Prince Albert von Thurn und Taxis,

Breast cancer moonwalker Kate Bosomworth,

And who could forget poor old Caster Semenya.

Not us.  Finally, Christian Cull would no doubt have done a superb job, had he been around 2000 years ago, of organising Rome's own Saturday afternoon diversions.

Amusingly appropriate address

Your ever watchful correspondents keep an eye on all arenas - not just names - for appropriate amusement on your behalf.  So we were tickled pink to receive a communication the other day (from none other than a Mr Matt Mongoven, Head of Credit Cards at RBS: stupid name, probably a stupid guy) from the following address -

Enhanced Security Support
5th Floor
1 Hardman Boulevard
Manchester M3 3AQ.

Putting the pun into crime and punishment

Hi folks.  Here at the AANs blog we always appreciate a bit of fan mail, so thanks to two of you this week for getting in touch with your own amusingly appropriate suggestions.  Lady Cat Stewart writes to tell us that the head of Haringey libraries is one Karen Bookless (perhaps she could change her name to Karen Careless and take over as head of children's services), while a Mr Teal of Memphis, Tennessee, writes to tell us of a fellow student named Mia Bimbo.  He let us know that his first thought on meeting the young lady was "my, a bimbo!"  Thanks for those, and do keep them coming.

Meanwhile here's a few we've spotted ourselves lately from the world of law, order and disorder...

Karen Wildish lived up to her moniker - but perhaps she had it coming attacking a man named Sheriff,

Donald Payne enjoyed inflicting same,

Sifiso Justice Ngema (crazy name, crazy guy),

Colin Pitchfork didn't actually kill people with a pitchfork but might as well have done,

Nick Freeman keeps his men free,

Sue Yoo might well do just that,

Judge Laws and Judge Judge do what they say on the tin,

While Ian Lawless was, it turns out, anything but!

Amusingly appropriate appropriators

Politics has been in the news recently, so here at the AANs blog we thought we'd treat you to a few of our faves from the world of same...

Labour MP Bob Blizzard takes a keen interest in cocaine legislation (perhaps keen to avoid repeats of Isabella Blow's overdose),

Tory MP Peter Bone likes to ask oral questions about sex laws,

His colleague James Brokenshire is the party's shadow minister for home affairs,

Richard Makepeace attempts to do just that as Britain's consul-general in Jerusalem,

PR man Ian Spinney spins for a living,

Afghan busybody Frozan Fana has been accused of "inappropriateness for a woman",

Lord Eatwell is disappointingly slim,

While Tory MP Richard Bacon takes an amusingly appropriate interest in pork labelling (perhaps troubled by the case of poisoned pig peddler Robert Hogg), prompting then PM Gordon Brown to quip, "If I may say so, that was an appropriate question from the aptly named Member!"  Indeed it was.

Welcome, welcome

Howdy folks.  Have you ever come across someone's name, thought it was amusingly appropriate, and found yourself thinking, "I wish someone would start a blog collecting these"?  Well, now we have.  With a bit of luck this site will soon become the web's foremost collection of such names.

Feel free to send us any AANs you happen to spot and we'll post them: drop us a line at amusinglyappropriatenames@gmail.com.

Let's begin with some old favourites from the world of food, drink, animals and animal parts...

Penis investigator Steven Ramm,

Farming hack Ewan Pate,

Wannabe celeb chef Tom Kitchin,

Greenfingered media whore Bob Flowerdew,

and of course Tokyo sex whale Tokyo Sexwale.

More to follow!