Evening. What with everything that's going on these days - recession, crooked politicians, Rwandan Tutsi soldiers forcing Congolese Hutu rebels to eat parts of their own bodies - it's nice to know you can always rely on some amusingly appropriate names to brighten up your day. Sometimes, though, as they say in the Congo, 'things fall apart', and your faithful correspondents' thematic approach to aptonymic humour is no exception. Accordingly, here are a few gems we've spotted recently, and indeed less recently, which defy easy pigeonholing...
Rem Koolhaas builds cool houses,
Michael Drinkwater is an expert on African agriculture (his advice to the Congolese rebels? "Drink water to facilitate autocannibalism"),
Gale Dryland runs Stirling Council's environmental operations,
Her colleague John Risk heads the Emergency Management and Response Team (planning for contingencies like floods, fires, Rwandan-backed incursions, etc),
Another local government jobsworth, Nick Cross, was understandably so,
Annmarie Carey does some non-job for Marie Curie,
Here's to YOU Kirk McCambley,
Hong Kong billionaire Li Ka-Shing would be an appalling waxwork if he didn't make that very noise when counting his billions,
Though even he never Madoff with quite as much as Bernie,
Clevis Bozo - eyewateringly stupid name, eyewateringly stupid guy - works in the internal auditing department of the Venezuelan state oil company,
Linda Bacon makes excuses for people as revoltingly obese as herself (we can just imagine their dinner table conversations: "Where's L.?" "In da bacon"),
And Goodluck Jonathan will need all the aforementioned he can get.
That's all for now, folks.