Monday, 20 December 2010

HeavAANs above

What ho.  Without further ado, here are some amusingly appropriate names your ever-watchful-for-amusingly-appropriate-names correspondents have uncovered of late...

Politics is back in the news, so we begin with Tory budget slasher Kay Cutts,

Not to mention her pie-eyed comrade Mark Reckless,

Expert in non-verbal communication, the late Prof. R.L. Birdwhistell,

BP VP Ken "how'd you plug these oil" Wells,

Judge Price recently had cause to ask: "how much?"

Nuclear engineer Sue Ion,

Hot on her heels, theoretical astrophysicist Alan Heavens,

And journalist and non-observer of embargoes Jonathan Leake (doubly appropriate that one, as the story was about menstruation).

While we're on the subject of journalists, Samira Shackle wrote about child detention.

And here's a quango that has met an amusingly appropriate end:

"Chief Coroner of England and Wales/Chief Coroner’s Office (1 body)
No longer a statutory body - Abolish body and function."

The Chief Coroner is now 1 dead body.  Speaking of which, if you thought Philip Pagano died an amusingly appropriate death, Jimi Heselden didn't do a bad job of leaving the world feet-first either.

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Amusingly appropriate email address

Like many organisational folk these days, our honourable and not-so-honourable parliamentary representatives enjoy email addresses with the surname / first-letter-of-first-name@... format.  For instance, if you want to agree with Deputy PM Nick Clegg you can write to him at, or if you're keen to offer your support to Labour leadership dark horse Diane Abbott you can reach her at, and so on.

Our favourite?  Rightwing Eurosceptic Tory MP Mark Francois.  Yes, that's right:  He failed to get the nod as Europe Minister the other day – supposedly to help along the coalition with the Lib Dems, but perhaps the real reason was to avoid upsetting his Spanish counterpart when he or she went to open his or her inbox of a morning.

Speaking of which, how's this for an amusingly - or perhaps terrifyingly - appropriate bit of signage?

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Amusingly appropriate death

"The chief of the Chicago commuter rail system has killed himself by stepping in front of a speeding train, officials have said... In his pocket, police found a manual detailing procedures for handling a suicide on the railway."

Sir, we at the AANs blog salute you.  Who says Americans don't do irony, eh?

Thursday, 1 April 2010

A rAANdom selection

Evening.  What with everything that's going on these days - recession, crooked politicians, Rwandan Tutsi soldiers forcing Congolese Hutu rebels to eat parts of their own bodies - it's nice to know you can always rely on some amusingly appropriate names to brighten up your day.  Sometimes, though, as they say in the Congo, 'things fall apart', and your faithful correspondents' thematic approach to aptonymic humour is no exception.  Accordingly, here are a few gems we've spotted recently, and indeed less recently, which defy easy pigeonholing...

Rem Koolhaas builds cool houses,

Michael Drinkwater is an expert on African agriculture (his advice to the Congolese rebels?  "Drink water to facilitate autocannibalism"),

Gale Dryland runs Stirling Council's environmental operations,

Her colleague John Risk heads the Emergency Management and Response Team (planning for contingencies like floods, fires, Rwandan-backed incursions, etc),

Another local government jobsworth, Nick Cross, was understandably so,

Annmarie Carey does some non-job for Marie Curie,

Here's to YOU Kirk McCambley,

Hong Kong billionaire Li Ka-Shing would be an appalling waxwork if he didn't make that very noise when counting his billions,

Though even he never Madoff with quite as much as Bernie,

Clevis Bozo - eyewateringly stupid name, eyewateringly stupid guy - works in the internal auditing department of the Venezuelan state oil company,

Linda Bacon makes excuses for people as revoltingly obese as herself (we can just imagine their dinner table conversations: "Where's L.?"  "In da bacon"),

And Goodluck Jonathan will need all the aforementioned he can get.

That's all for now, folks.

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

The father, the pun and the holy ghost

Ever since the days when our old school chaplain Mr Christie would drone on about his namesake, we at the AANs blog have taken a particular interest in amusingly and appropriately named figures from the world to come.  Here, then, are a few proofs that God has a sense of humour after all...

Cardinal Sin did what he said on the tin,

Likewise herbal healer Ah Nya Plant,

Mark Godshall if you're not careful,

Hakim Quick if you're particularly apostatic,

Then there's obscenely rich televangelist Creflo Dollar,

And spiritual scribbler Will Heaven,

But his colleague Roger Boyes wins the byline from hell.

May God have mercy on their silly souls.

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Fun run

Afternoon all.  The World Cup, Olympics and Commonwealth Games are just round the corner, and no matter who you're supporting - whether it's England, for instance, or whoever's playing England - we're sure you'll enjoy our sporting selection of amusingly and appropriately named sportsmen, sportswomen and one sportsman/woman!  Thus:

Baseline botherer Anna Smashnova,

Fast fellow Usain Bolt,

His countrymen Daren Ganga and Floyd Reifer (thanks to Mr A. Lightbulb McNeill of Leith for spotting that one),

Even faster fellow Scott Speed,

Germany's car-racing bachelor Prince Albert von Thurn und Taxis,

Breast cancer moonwalker Kate Bosomworth,

And who could forget poor old Caster Semenya.

Not us.  Finally, Christian Cull would no doubt have done a superb job, had he been around 2000 years ago, of organising Rome's own Saturday afternoon diversions.